My Immortal
by amura
Summary: A short songfic about Methos and his thoughts after Alexa. My first fic :)


A/N: My first fanfiction, so I apologize in advance :p. This song (My Immortal by Evanescence) has been playing a lot lately and every time I hear it, I think of MY immortal - Methos, of course ;) (who, alas, does not really belong to me). So, I guess you can kinda say it inspired me, to the dismay of all you poor readers :p. Well, enough of my babble, I hope you enjoy.  
  
"My Immortal"  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
I'm here once again, standing at your grave. Alexa Bond, Beloved. You were, probably more than you'll ever know. It's been three months since you passed away, but the pain is no less now than it was that first day in Geneva - if anything, it has become worse. I can't help thinking about all the other friends I have, with lives just as fleeting. How long will it be until Joe is gone as well? Sometimes I think the waiting is worse than dealing with their deaths.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
To think, not even a year ago we were standing on a beach on Santorini watching the sun rise over the Mediterranean. I remember how you loved Greece, Santorini especially. You would have liked to have been buried there, I know. I just couldn't stand the thought of you being so far away. Alexa. Even your name was beautiful. There was a spark there, when we first met; I know you felt it too. I miss you so much it hurts. Even if I live another 5,000 years, I don't think the pain will ever leave me.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
Every day that you got worse a part of me died with you. I would have done anything to lessen your pain, to make you well again. To have you stay with me forever. I might have, too. I tried, I really did. You'll never know just how close I came. I will never forget.  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
My dreams have become more haunted of late. Where I used to dream of the pleasant times, now I can only seem to picture your face those last few days, your crying at night when you thought I was asleep and could not hear. These bad memories are driving the good from my mind, and I fear the nightmares will drive me mad.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
I wish so many things happened differently. I wish you weren't dying. I wish you lasted at least long enough to finish traveling the world. But I wish most of all that I met you even a little sooner so I could have spent that much more time with you, shown you that much more of life.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
"She'll know how much you love her." These words echo in my mind, as do the reply I gave. "As much as I can for as long as she lives." But I fear I lied in my response to the Highlander, for it was far too short an amount of time, Alexa. I love you still. And I will forever.   
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
I was so happy in those few moments I had with you (and for me they were only moments). Now that you're gone I am reminded of how alone I truly am. Although the memories of you are better than nothing at all, I can't help but see more clearly that I still am and always will be alone with nothing but memories of those gone.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
Someone once told me of a Navajo saying: "The Spirit lives on as long as someone remembers you." So fear not, Alexa, beloved, you are my own immortal, for I will never forget you. I will live, grow stronger, and always remember.  
  
Because the alternative is unthinkable. 


End file.
